Today another stimulus program was revealed. This one was truly stimulating - at least to the poor monkeys who were drugged up. Yep, drugged up some poor monkeys to study their behavior. Did it with thousands of stimulus dollars.
What the heck would be the benefit of studying high monkeys?
OH, wait, I get it! It will help us understand those out-of-control idiots in DC!
OofDah! This is probably the most worth-while project in the entire stimulus package. But will my grandchildren think we are spending their money wisely or throwing it away on monkey business?
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